Of California and Other Catchings-Up

I'm not sure, but I may have quit blogging altogether.

Oh, no, wait... I'm here, so I guess I haven't.

Whatever. So here's a quick (ha ha; yes, I know you don't believe me; I don't believe myself either)... anyway, a quick rundown of life since I last posted:

DRAMA:

Cheez ran off to California with a guy she met on the internet. Yes, you read that right. No, I'm not joking. No, I didn't build up to this and ease you in nicely. That's too much work. BAM! That's how it is.

Well, okay, she didn't really "run" off to California; she drove off. And he drove. They both drove. He flew in on a Saturday, slept on our couch, had breakfast and conversation with us, and helped her pack the Cherokee she hasn't finished paying us for. Then off they went.

He lives with his family, understand, and so Cheez is living with his family as well. That was apparently his Mom's idea. (Thanks, lady; I so appreciate that.) Supposedly the two of them are "just friends", although my Facebook Spy (a sporadically-used necessary evil since I am blocked from her page) tells me otherwise.

Yes, it was weird. It felt strange to be having breakfast and making conversation and almost having a nice time getting acquainted with this person. It was as though we were perfectly fine with the whole thing, which we weren't. Although he is not a Christian, he is very nice, polite, well-spoken, well-read, and short. We would actually like him if he weren't... well, you know... taking our daughter to live with him in California. 

Before they left, I gave her the new markers I'd bought for our homeschool. Cheez may be old enough to move across the country, but she loves coloring and loves crayons & markers. She was touched by my gift. So was her friend. "Way cool! You're giving these to us?" he asked, clearly pleased. The "us" annoyed me. They're just friends, right? "Us" makes them sound like a couple. I had been nice & friendly with him up to that point, but no longer. I looked him in the eye and said without the hint of a smile, "No. I'm giving them to HER." Later when he shook my hand and said goodbye, I looked him in the eye again and said... and you have to understand that I am in no way a confrontational person and that even looking someone in the eye and making a strong statement is very out of character for me... I said firmly, "You don't share markers unless you're married." He nodded and scampered away. I thought it was a very clever thing to say, and I was very proud of myself for making my point. Somebody had to. About half an hour after they left, I realized that it was actually a really stupid thing to say. Oh well. At least now he knows why Cheez wanted to move as far away from me as possible.

She keeps in touch. So far she seems to be happy and enjoying herself. I packed up a box for her with a canvas bag she'd left behind and stuffed it with notebooks and crayons and more markers. I didn't cry.

MORE DRAMA:

The night before Cheez left, I went to my Happy Place, a.k.a. Facebook, only to find it not such a happy place for the moment. Turns out I had been rather publicly chewed out by one of my "friends", an interesting and complicated young man who is only a few years older than my own young adult kids. Though I remember him fondly as a little guy, I'd lost track of him for many years and have only recently been getting re-acquainted, primarily via Facebook. Much of our dialogue there takes the form of light-hearted repartee. Apparently, however, I'd committed a Banter Gone Awry and had hit a nerve with one of my comments. Oops. Way to go, me. So much for getting on Facebook to escape and chill and be happy.

Given that I was already a bit of a basket case over Cheez, I really had no other option at that point than to just totally lose it. But I quickly realized that, just as my tears were not really about him, his tirade was not really about me. Between the lines, it said, "You have it good, but my life is really hard, plus I get lonely." So I apologized profusely for my insensitive comment and then invited him for dinner. What else could I do? The invitation was gladly accepted, and to top it off, I received both a private and a public apology from him as well. It was wonderful to have a crisis that was so easily fixed. And with my heart already ripped wide open, there was room in it for somebody else, and I kind of wanted to adopt him. Given the general infeasibility of such an arrangement, however, I decided to settle for simply making sure he has a place to come to for dinner sometimes and someone he can kinda sorta think of as his local family. Even if it's just boring old us.

And I'm thinking that maybe God will send someone to do the same for my kids when they need it.

DRAMA OF A MUCH LIGHTER VARIETY:

One evening between dishes and soccer pickup, Fuzz and I had "the talk." Yes, that talk. You know, the crowning moment in which all the little bits & pieces I'd thrown out over the years and especially over the last year are pulled together and the full details are revealed. That one. She was in the kitchen asking questions and it was just time. Her reactions were predictably amusing: "Ewwww. Really? Ewwww... When? Where?... Why would anyone WANT to?... More than once?????... Ewww.... You're too old, right?"

This, by the way, made for a GREAT Facebook post and ensuing conversation. Yes, I "hid" the post from my underage friends. And no, I have no shame about embarrassing my kids on Facebook.

THINGS THAT MADE ME SMILE:

*Six days after Cheez left, I was in Home Dropout buying paint when a kid came running up to me asking, "Hey, how's Cheez? Where is she?" It took me a minute to realize that he was one of her friends from high school. I was tickled that he recognized me and happy that he'd asked about her.

*I wanted to take dinner to a family in our church who's going through a crisis, so when I saw Spaz chatting on FB with the 18-year-old son, I hi-jacked his chatbox and asked if I could bring dinner over and when and what did they like and so on. I suppose I took the kid by surprise. His answers were very nonchalant, consisting of such highly-affirming words as "i guess so" and "sure", until I typed "chicken enchiladas sound good?" The answer came back immediately: "omg YES!!!!!" I felt suddenly buoyed and couldn't wait to make that dinner.

FUN STUFF:

A friend and I took the kids out to the Big Lake. Is it sad that we live 20 minutes away and hadn't been there yet this summer? I think so. Hubz is not a beach guy, so that rules out family outings (except in the off-season when it's cold and everyone wears clothes and we walk the pier). If I want to go, I have to take the kids myself or find a friend to go with. I was not about to let the summer go by without a Lake Michigan outing, so I made it happen. Of course, we happened to pick about the coldest day of the entire summer. I pretty much sat in a chair wearing my hoodie, except when I was up taking pictures wearing my hoodie. The water was freezing, but thanks to a stiff wind, the breakers were fantastic.

MORE FUN STUFF

*We had a few longtime friends over for food & games. They were supposed to be outdoor games, but it was really stinkin' hot (note: this was two days after the freezing-cold beach outing), so we made it an indoor event. I tell you, there is no antidote for a glum mood like fresh veggies, cold Mike's, Apples to Apples, and REALLY GOOD FRIENDS. Especially all at the same time. And especially when the good friends are real people with whom we can really be real about our real lives. Really. I don't know why we don't all get together more often.

*On Labor Day (today), we got together at my parents' with family and a few church friends. Instead of hiding behind the camera, I played volleyball for the first time in decades-- and did not make an utter fool of myself. Close, but not quite utter. I did get off a few good serves. It was truckloads of fun.

STUFF I DID THAT WAS PRODUCTIVE:

Well, this should be a short list, which is good since this post is much overlong.

I picked veggies from my garden. I painted Cheez' old room. I continued researching curriculum for our upcoming schoolyear (and yes, I know that is hopelessly pathetic, and I know you had your curriculum all purchased last March and have been doing school for three weeks now). I started my second stint of seasonal work at the school portrait company where I worked last fall, because I am utterly insane and don't have enough to do. I may have cleaned the house once or twice.

I finished my eighth and final "frivolous" book of the summer (six fantasy fiction & two memoir, and by the way, that is about eight times the number of just-for-fun books that I generally read in an entire year) and began reading the distinctly non-frivolous The Ragamuffin Gospel. This time I plan to make it beyond the first chapter, and in fact, I already have.

THINGS I DID TOO MUCH OF:

Coffee. Facebook. Agonizing over decisions. Staying up late. Getting up late.


WELL. That is quite enough catching up for now.



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